1 0 December 2018 |
Editor’s column
Rage Against the Latrine
Good-bye, old toilet. It’s time to bidet you a fond farewell.
Gather ‘round, loyal readers. Just sit right back and you’ll
hear a tale—a tale of toilet repair gone awry. It all began when my
aging toilet finally crapped out on me once and for all. And here I
thought we’d be joined at the hip forever.
Not to clog up my story with too many details, but the
plumber scoped out the situation and found tree roots growing
inside the pipes. It was a total birch to remove, let me tell you.
Lesson learned: no more toiletrees in the bathroom ever again.
I took the plunge online to compare the leading toilet
brands. Through process of elimination, I narrowed it down to
the No. 1 and No. 2 bestselling toilets. Unfortunately, the toilet I
selected was defective. Supposedly this toilet came with a seal of
approval so why is it leaking? I became flush with anger. I didn’t
handle it well and flipped my lid with customer service. I wanted
to take that woman to court and sewer. There goes another $150
down the drain!
But seriously. People laugh at my bathroom humor like I’m
a stand-up commode-ian or something. (My first, second and
turd jokes are the funniest, I’ll admit.) I apologize that in “loo” of
writing about the holidays, I’m writing about toilets instead. I’m
happy to report that my new high-tech toilet is now the best seat
in the house. You might even say it’s “a head” of its time.
Karen Anderson is the managing editor of “At Home”
magazine and the author of “The Hawaii Home Book,
Practical Tips For Tropical Living.” She can be reached at
kanderson@westhawaiitoday.com
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