1 0 november 2018 |
Editor’s column
Sick Humor for Flu Season
What’s the difference between a cold and the flu? I looked it
up in the dictionary and now I have thesaurus throat I’ve ever had
in my life.
With another flu season just around the corner, it’s enough
to keep me awake and worried all night long. In fact, my insomnia
is so bad I haven’t slept on the job in weeks. Getting the flu is
nothing to sneeze at. I got the flu twice last year, which was like
deja flu. This year, I’ll be feeding my cold with mega doses of
Häagen-Dazs and chocolate syrup.
I’ve been told a million times that I exaggerate. According
to WebMD, Mednet, Healthline, Mayo Clinic Symptom Checker,
Metdoc, and MedlinePlus, I may be a hypochondriac. Or I may
have pneumochocldeidglaonia, but it’s hard to say.
This year’s flu shot has four strains of viruses in it, which
seems a little superflu-ous if you ask me. Apparently there’s a free
vaccine for the avian flu. It’s a cheep shot. If you come down with
the bird flu, just pray it doesn’t take a tern for the worse or you
might need to seek tweetment.
Here in Hawai‘i, there’s a mild strain of the swine flu going
around — it’s called the SPAM flu. If you drink too much Merlot,
you might end up with the wine flu. Today I woke up with a nasty
bug — it was a centipede on my pillow.
Karen Anderson is the managing editor of “At Home”
magazine and the author of “The Hawaii Home Book,
Practical Tips For Tropical Living.” She can be reached at
kanderson@westhawaiitoday.com
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