1 0 june 2018 |
Editor’s column
Bad Puns: This is How Eye Roll
With all this talk about fridge-sized refrigerators falling
from the sky, I’ve been paying a lot more attention to the
inside of my own refrigerator lately. Honestly, I hate to see
good food go to waist.
Spoiler alert: the milk in my refrigerator is two weeks
past its expiration date. Unfortunately these days, it takes a
whole lot of moolah just to buy a carton of milk.
Today I reached in the fridge for a can of Coke and
dropped the can on my foot. Luckily it didn’t hurt because
it was a soft drink. Right now I’m feeling Breyer’s remorse
after finishing that half-gallon of ice cream. Is it still called a
midnight snack if you start at noon?
Dear Bagel Bites: life is too short to “let stand for 2
minutes before eating.” I’ll admit, I was once addicted to
deli meats but finally decided to quit cold turkey. Would it
be flat-out wrong of me to eat a ham sandwich on
PETA bread?
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Well, stick an apple in my mouth and roast me at a luau
because I have a total pigsty in my freezer. Like long-lost
artifacts encrusted in frost, my frozen taquitos are incognito,
my Amy’s lasagna is pasta its prime, and my tater tots are so
old, they’ve turned into tater teens. I’m also waffling about
whether or not my Eggo’s are even edible at this point.
Come to think of it, they never were.
Warning: this column was produced in a facility where
nuts are present; read at your own risk. With the recent
e-coli scare, I romaine ambivalent about eating lettuce. I’ve
decided to cut back on fish, too. The only time I’ll eat sole,
for instance, is when I stick my foot in my mouth.
Karen Anderson is the managing editor of “At Home”
magazine and the author of “The Hawaii Home Book,
Practical Tips For Tropical Living.” She can be reached at
kanderson@westhawaiitoday.com
/www.roylambrechtwoodworking.com
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