3C
west hawaii today | Tuesday, August 11, 2015
Dear Annie:
It is a
modern kind of problem
to have such a long life
expectancy. My husband
and I are in our early
60s. His parents are in
their early 90s. They
still live independently
and are fairly healthy.
We often have family
get-togethers with his
parents, our children
and our grandchildren.
My husband’s father
tells the same stories
over and over. He
completely monopolizes
conversations and will
interrupt a speaker and
start telling his own tale
from days long gone.
His wife will sometimes
say, “Dear, you’ve told
this story before,” and he
will momentarily pause,
but his brain is stuck on
one track and he’ll keep
going. He is unable not
to continue, complete
with the same jokes and
dramatic pauses that
he has learned through
repetition. We try to be
polite and listen, but I see
how my children’s eyes
glaze over and eventually,
they find reasons to leave.
Here’s the real
problem: Over the past
few years, I have seen
my husband developing
this same need to speak.
Usually, he wants to make
a point or he has some
complaint. But he seems
unable to just let it go. He
also has started telling
long stories, over and
over, about his younger
days. Yesterday, he
ruined a family lunch by
fighting about something
minor that he absolutely
could not let pass.
I don’t want to spend
years hearing the same
stories and putting up
with a husband who
is unable to be silent
and listen to others. My
father-in-law is oblivious
to others, and I can see
that his son is headed
the same way. What
can be done? — L.
Dear L.:
You’re
overlooking the
possibility of an inherited
neurological problem
behind this tendency.
It is not uncommon for
some seniors to become
repetitive and focus on
their younger days. But
the inability to drop
an issue when asked,
even when it causes
family fights, has an
element of compulsive
behavior. Please talk to
your husband about this
when he is in a more
reasonable mood. Ask
him to speak to his doctor
about an evaluation, or
better, go with him. But
please work on your
tolerance levels. Your
husband isn’t being
annoying on purpose.
Instead of allowing
your frustration to boil
over, try to understand
how difficult it is for
him to control himself,
and then help others be
understanding, as well.
Dear Annie:
Has the
definition of “fiance”
changed? It used to
mean one’s intended
spouse, one’s betrothed,
the person one has
agreed to marry after
an engagement period.
Now, it seems to mean
merely the person one
is currently having sex
with. Marriage no longer
appears to be a necessary
element of the word’s
meaning. Am I right
about this? — Curious
Dear Curious:
No. A
fiance is still someone
you intend to marry.
However, the length of
the engagement could be
quite long - years - and
in the meantime, some
couples choose to live
together. While there are
a few optimistic folks who
refer to themselves as a
“fiance” even when they
are not, in fact, engaged
to be married, it doesn’t
change the meaning
of the word. It only
shows the expectations
of the person using it.
Annie’s Mailbox
is written by Kathy
Mitchell and Marcy
Sugar, longtime editors
of the Ann Landers
column. Please email
your questions to
anniesmailboxcreators.
com, or write to: Annie’s
Mailbox, c/o Creators
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ASTROLOGY
E u g e n i a L a s t
annie’s mailbox |
advice
Is telling long-winded stories genetic?
TUESDAY, AUGUST 11, 2015
CELEBRITIES BORN ON
THIS DAY:
Chris Hemsworth, 32;
Ashley Jensen, 46; Viola Davis, 50;
Hulk Hogan, 62.
Happy Birthday:
A creative
approach to the way you handle
your personal affairs will help you
stay on top. Exploring new possibil-
ities and expanding your knowledge
should be your target. Do whatever
it takes to stabilize your personal
life and domestic situation. Assess
your current situation honestly and
make whatever amendments are
necessary. Your numbers are 1, 6,
18, 24, 29, 33, 42.
ARIES (March 21-April 19):
Don’t let your emotions take over.
Taking charge by altering your liv-
ing arrangements will alleviate the
problems you face. Deal with mat-
ters diplomatically and refuse to let
anyone pressure or take advantage
of you. 2 stars
TAURUS (April 20-May 20):
Evaluate your situation. Get togeth-
er with someone you trust or who
can shed some light on it. Now is
not the time to take action, but it
is the time to assess, strategize and
calculate any risks you face. 4 stars
GEMINI (May 21-June 20):
People from your past will surface.
Don’t be too eager to help someone
who has taken advantage of you in
the past. Focus on new friendships,
but be cautious of a colleague who
is being too friendly or prying into
your personal affairs. 3 stars
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Try
to be understanding if someone
backs out of a deal or changes his
mind at the last minute. Use your
imagination and you will come up
with an alternative that will turn
out to be more beneficial and
self-satisfying. 3 stars
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Your
attitude and opinions are changing.
A new direction will be a refreshing
change. Be open to options you
have never considered in the past.
Good fortune will come if you adapt
to what’s going on around you. 3
stars
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):
Renewed friendships will spark
your curiosity. Don’t be too quick
to share your personal thoughts.
Listen and consider how much
you still have in common with
old friends, or whether those
friendships are best left alone.
Expand your friendships, but
choose them wisely. 4 stars
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Keep
your thoughts to yourself. Your
emotions will take over if you get
into a discussion at work, putting
you in a vulnerable position. Keep
your distance, do your job and
strive to reach your goals. Focus on
self-improvement, not on changing
others. 2 stars
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21):
Your knowledge and interest in
what everyone is doing and how
they do it will help you get ahead.
Rely on your own know-how and
integrity. Refuse to be overshad-
owed by someone offering the
impossible. Speak up. 5 stars
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec.
21): You will end up in a situation
that will require diplomacy and the
ability to take action and stick to
what you believe. Don’t be too con-
cerned with what others do. Follow
what works best for you. 3 stars
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19):
It’s time to take over and pursue
your goals. Speak up and lay out
your plans for others to view. Take
on a professional challenge that can
bring you high returns financially.
Opportunity knocks and you must
be prepared to take action. 3 stars
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18):
You are overdue for a change. Don’t
sit back when you feel the urge
to get up and go. Make personal
changes that will align you with
the group or industry that you feel
you can make the most progress
with. 3 stars
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20):
Getting along with colleagues,
partners or your lover will help
stabilize important relationships.
Accommodating others now will
put you in a good position when
faced with a problem. Look beyond
the moment and refuse to let the
past interfere with future plans.
5 stars
Birthday Baby:
You are kind
and generous. You are colorful,
charming and creative.
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City, MO 64106; 816-581-7500.
