SATURDAY, MAY 28, 2016 | WEST HAWAII TODAY 4B Dear Annie: In the past five years, I have attended 14 weddings (several were expensive destination weddings), hosted seven baby showers, four bridal luncheons, six wedding showers and purchased 36 presents for various friends and relatives. My son is gay. Thankfully, he and his wonderful partner of 11 years were finally able to legally marry last year. The exact number of gifts and cards they received from my family and friends? Six. Even if you are homophobic, can you not celebrate another human being’s joy at finding love and happiness? I did for their children. Why can’t they do the same for mine? — Ticked Off Dear Ticked Off: You are assuming your son and his husband did not receive gifts or cards because people object to their same-sex union. That may be true in some cases, but we suspect the real reason is that people are forgetful and lazy. And if there was no invitation to a wedding, some folks feel no obligation to send anything to the newlyweds. This is not an excuse to be negligent, mind you, only an observation that their neglect has nothing to do with homophobia. You don’t say whether your son had a wedding reception or any other festivities where guests were invited. So, if you want people to celebrate with you, we recommend hosting a party in honor of your son’s recent marriage. You can then invite all of the people you were so happy for in years past, and let them express the same level of happiness for your son and his husband. We hope they will. Dear Annie: I read your request that readers consider April 2 to be Reconciliation Day and use it to mend estrangements with friends and relatives. I have a quote that is perfect for this. I’ve heard this quote ascribed to several sources, but one is the Buddha: ”Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” Along the same lines, Nelson Mandela said, “Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.” — G. Dear G.: Actually, that quote has been ascribed to dozens of people, and there is no evidence that credit belongs to anyone in particular. The quotation from the Buddha is supposedly about grasping a hot coal in order to harm another and you are the one who gets burned. But apparently, the Buddha didn’t say that, either, although there is some proof that a similar phrase may have been used by Buddhaghosa, the 5th-century commentator. We, in fact, printed a version of that same quote back in 2011 and mistakenly credited actress Carrie Fisher, who said she’d heard it from someone in AA. And she wasn’t the only one. That quote or a variation of it has also been credited to Nelson Mandela, Allan Brandt, Malachy McCourt and Emmet Fox, and then repeated and credited to these same people by others. It is, however, still a terrific quote and the point is a good one. Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email questions to anniesmailbox@ creators. com, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. Find Annie at Facebook.com/AskAnnies. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2016 CREATORS.COM ASTROLOGY ACROSS E u g e n i a L a s t 1 Give up out of frustration, in slang 9 Person with pressing things to do? 15 Shrug 16 Very much 17 Exile 18 Blogging site owned by Yahoo 19 Lose support 20 Look inside 22 “The Glass Bead Game” author 23 10/15, e.g. 25 Table material 27 Garbage 29 Acronym in 1990s news 30 Ingredient in a Dark ’n’ Stormy 33 1936 novel family 36 Wander around Hollywood, maybe 38 Banded status symbols The New York Times Syndication Sales Corporation 620 Eighth Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10018 For Information Call: 1-800-972-3550 For Release Saturday, May 28, 2016 Crossword Edited by Will Shortz No. 0423 40 Paris suburb that holds the tombs of numerous Fr. monarchs 41 Ideal height for some contact 43 Counterintelligence grp. in 007 novels 44 Partners of 58-Across 45 “CSI” setting 47 Intl. org. that was the first to land a probe on a comet (2014) 48 Cheese dish 50 Novel character with “a comfortable home and happy disposition” 53 Some party wear 56 Shop item 58 Partners of 44-Across 59 “Aladdin” setting 61 Chocolaty treats introduced in 1932 63 Piece of den furniture 64 Relationship in many a Seth Rogen film 65 Sitcom character whose dancing is described as “a full-body dry heave” 66 Frowned-upon construction material DOWN 1 Portia de ___ (Ellen DeGeneres’s wife) 2 In the future 3 Some home remedies 4 Hall of fame on TV 5 Learning center 6 Like all contestants on “The Bachelor” 7 How soda may be sold 8 Highlanders, e.g. 9 Astronomers’ std. 10 Parent’s reproof 11 Citi Field icon 12 Winners at the Battle of Chickasaw Bayou, for short 13 “___ well” 14 Pericles’ domain, in Shakespeare 21 Lots 24 The New Yorker cartoonist Edward 26 Need for sabermetricians 28 Panama Papers revelation 30 Went unchecked 31 Tomb Raider weaponry 32 Go together 33 Self-described “Family City U.S.A.” 34 College athlete wearing blue and gray 35 End 37 One of the 12 gifts of Christmas 39 Jason of “How I Met Your Mother” 42 1987 #1 hit with the lyric “Soy capitán, soy capitán” 46 Things played on the floor 48 Black hat wearer 49 Pound 51 ___ Island, Fla. 52 Yo-yos 53 “The Twilight Zone” episode, usually 54 Like some arguments 55 City captured during the Six-Day War 57 “A Series of Unfortunate Events” villainess 60 Word that sounds like a letter of the alphabet that’s not in it 62 Results of some four-year programs, for short PUZZLE BY PAOLO PASCO Online subscriptions: Today’s puzzle and more than 7,000 past puzzles, nytimes.com/crosswords ($39.95 a year). Read about and comment on each puzzle: nytimes.com/wordplay. Crosswords for young solvers: nytimes.com/studentcrosswords. ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 S M A R T Y P A N T S G P A M A D E Y O U L O O K R A M O R D E R O N L I N E E S P T I T L E E D G I N E S S E N O S R A R E N E N E C O N G A P E D I B I R T H D A Y D R A G O N O V A R I E S N A I L G U N Z Y D E C O S O L O I S T S O L I N W I L E S E A C H A N O S P U M A C A T H O L I C F I N E R A G O L I V E A L I T T L E F U R E M E R G E N C I E S E E S S P R E A D S H E E T Saturday, May 28, 2016 Level: 1 2 3 4 Complete the grid so each row, column and 3-by-3 box (in bold borders) contains every digit 1 to 9. For strategies on how to solve Sudoku, visit www.sudoku.org.uk. GOREN BRIDGE WITH BOB JONES ©2016 Tribune Content Agency, LLC WEEKLY BRIDGE QUIZ Q1 - Neither vulnerable, as South, you hold: ♠ 3 ♥ K 6 4 ♦ A K J 10 5 4 ♣ 4 3 2 As dealer, what call would you make? Q 2 - North-South vulnerable, as South, you hold: ♠ A 9 8 6 ♥ A K J 2 ♦ Q 7 5 ♣ A6 SOUTH WEST NORTH EAST 1♦ Pass 1♠ Pass ? What call would you make? Q 3 - East-West vulnerable, as South, you hold: ♠ A 8 4 3 ♥ 4 ♦ J 8 6 5 4 2 ♣ 6 5 Partner opens one club and righthand opponent bids two hearts, weak. What call would you make? Q 4 - Both vulnerable, as South, you hold: ♠ A 8 3 ♥ A 8 4 2 ♦ K 10 6 2 ♣ Q 3 SOUTH WEST NORTH EAST 1♦ 1♥ 1♠ Pass ? What call would you make? Q 5 - North-South vulnerable, as South, you hold: ♠ K Q J 10 4 2 ♥ A 5 ♦ 6 5 ♣ A 8 7 Right-hand opponent opens two diamonds, weak. What call would you make? Q 6 - East-West vulnerable, as South, you hold: ♠ A 9 7 2 ♥ Q J 8 ♦ 10 6 5 3 ♣ K 10 NORTH EAST SOUTH WEST 1♦ 1♥ ? What call would you make? Look for answers on Monday. (Bob Jones welcomes readers’ responses sent in care of this newspaper or to Tribune Content Agency, LLC., 16650 Westgrove Dr., Suite 175, Addison, TX 75001. tcaeditors@tribune.com) Sudoku By The Mepham Group Solution to Friday’s puzzle © 2016 The Mepham Group. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency. All rights reserved. 5/28/16 ANNIE’S MAILBOX | ADVICE Gay son doesn’t get many wedding gifts SATURDAY, MAY 28, 2016 CELEBRITIES BORN ON THIS DAY: Carey Mulligan, 31; Kylie Minogue, 48; Christa Miller, 52; Gladys Knight, 72. Happy Birthday: Good fortune is within reach. Your insight and desire to finish what you start will help you maneuver your way to the top. Think big, but look for ways to carry out your plans on a budget. Doing as much as you can in an affordable way will put you ahead of any competition you meet. Your numbers are 4, 15, 23, 24, 30, 38, 47. ARIES (March 21-April 19): Share your thoughts and feelings and you will find the help you need to improve whatever situations you face. Bringing about the necessary personal changes in your life will help to ease your stress. Romance looks promising. 4 stars TAURUS (April 20-May 20): A fundraising event will be tedious and demanding. Before you offer help, consider the people who really need your assistance. Charity begins at home, and that is where your focus should be if you don’t want to disappoint someone you love. 2 stars GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Stick to the truth and work hard to fulfill your promises. Don’t be sideswiped by someone who is offering the impossible. Consider your options and make choices based on what will help you build a relationship with someone who counts. Love is in the stars. 5 stars CANCER (June 21-July 22): Check out the possibilities around you. Make unique changes at home that will allow you to spend more time with someone you love. Expanding your interests, surroundings or friendships will bring positive results. Choose your own path. 3 stars LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): You don’t have to explain your actions. Own what you do and make it clear that you are following the path that suits you best. Express your feelings and make the changes that will bring high returns. A gain is in sight. 3 stars VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You’ll be torn between what you should do and what you want to do. Preparation and careful planning will help you deal with your responsibilities so that you can enjoy downtime with friends. Avoid physical altercations. 3 stars LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Travel, explore and find information that will give you the knowledge you need to pursue something you enjoy. Make physical changes that give you confidence. Enjoy the attention you receive. Romance is encouraged. 5 stars SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Don’t let annoyances strip away your chances to have fun. Lighten up and make this a day to remember. Visit a place you’ve never been before. Expand your interests and your knowledge, and explore new possibilities. 5 stars SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Deal with people cautiously. You’ll be misunderstood and could end up in an uncomfortable emotional situation. Do what you can to bring about the changes to your personal life that will make you happy. 2 stars CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Bring the past into the present. Reunite with old friends or colleagues and share memories. Joy will spring from collaborating, and renewed friendships will help bring life to old dreams. A proposal will be too good to turn down. 4 stars AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Old emotions will surface. Use this energy to bring about positive changes at home. Don’t discuss matters that cannot be resolved without time and space. Your strength will come from self-improvement, not from trying to change others. 3 stars PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Don’t be fooled by what others tell you. An emotional situation will arise if you are too gullible or accommodating. Use your intelligence and make decisions that will benefit you. Only offer help to those who have something to offer in return. 3 stars Birthday Baby: You are unique, inventive and insightful. You are unpredictable and entertaining. COPYRIGHT 2016 UNIVERSAL UCLICK 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106; 816-581-7500
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