FRIDAY, APRIL 1, 2016 | WEST HAWAII TODAY 4B Dear Annie: My sisterin law is going through dialysis. She is able to do it in the comfort of her home with help of a nurse, so she can be close to her young kids. Her husband dotes on her. She isn’t able to get out much, but she tries to see my in-laws for supper or coffee whenever possible. My husband and I make an effort to come over to say hi and be supportive, plus our kids love seeing their cousins. The problem is, whenever I ask her how she is doing, she says something dark like, “I’m still alive, but why would any of you care?” Last week, she said she is going to get a motorcycle because she’s going to die anyway. If you try to steer the conversation to something lighter, she drives it right back to her illness. I offered to help with her cleaning, and to read her a book while she is getting treatment and give her a foot massage. She told my mother-in-law that I was “showing off ” and stopped speaking to me. My husband calls her an emotional vampire. Annie, I have suffered from depression for years. I go to regular meetings with a peer group, take a good medication and have the full support of my husband. When I am around my sister-in-law, my own dark feelings go to a place that I don’t like, and I once came home from seeing her and contemplated suicide. I also don’t want my 12-yearold, who already shows signs of depression, to be near my sister-in-law. My mother-in-law won’t let me say anything to her about it. How do I handle this situation without breaking my mother-in-law’s heart? — Going Crazy Dear Going Crazy: Your sister-in-law is terribly depressed, as you know, and feels so sorry for herself that she cannot see beyond her own unhappiness. But you should not compromise your health in order to be supportive of someone else. Make your visits brief, and let your husband go without you when it gets too difficult. Don’t try to cheer her up. She only wants to vent. And when she rebuffs your offers of help, ignore it. She is not capable of appreciating the kindness of others. We also suggest you check out the National Kidney Foundation (kidney. org) for additional suggestions and insight. Dear Annie: We have been married 58 years, are in our mid-80s and happy, reasonable healthy and financially secure. On birthdays and Christmas, we always give monetary gifts to the children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Two of the grandchildren never acknowledge this with a “thank you” or even a phone call. I say, ”It’s time to close the bank.” My husband says, “It doesn’t matter, because we have the money, and they can use it.” To send or not to send — that is the question. We have decided to abide by your advice. — The Bank of Grandpa and Grandma Dear Bank: You are certainly justified in stopping, but we say, give them the chance to learn: Tell the two reprobates directly that that there will be no more gifts unless they let you know, via note, email, text or phone call, that they were received. Otherwise, you will assume they do not appreciate your generosity and you will stop. You’ll feel better knowing that the final decision was theirs. Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email questions to anniesmailbox@ creators.com, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. Find Annie at Facebook.com/AskAnnies. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2016 CREATORS.COM ACROSS 1 1991 Scorsese/ De Niro collaboration 9 Something exciting to play with 15 Fragile fabric made from certain plant fibers 16 Tough leather 17 Amscrayed 18 One getting lots of take-out orders? 19 Edward VII or VIII, in India: Abbr. 20 ___ nullius (no one’s property) 21 Pioneering labor leader Samuel 22 Was suddenly successful 24 Nullius ___ (of no legal force) 25 Like NSFW links The New York Times Syndication Sales Corporation 26 Kennedy and Bush 41, but no other U.S. presidents 28 Chuck 29 “Mum’s the word” 31 Little, in Lockerbie 620 Eighth Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10018 For Information Call: 1-800-972-3550 32 Cross collections, e.g. 33 Roughneck’s workplace 35 It’s in the far northwest 37 Product of Greek culture? 38 Moderately dry 39 True 40 Splitting words 41 “Mr. ___” (Styx hit) 42 Blow hole? 45 Winner’s prize on “RuPaul’s Drag U” 46 Gap fillers, of sorts 47 “My response was …,” informally 48 “Grey’s Anatomy” actress with five straight Emmy nominations 50 Hands on deck 51 Hand wringer’s cry 52 Flip 53 Bridge tolls, e.g. DOWN 1 They might spook spelunkers 2 Where the San Antonio Spurs used to play 3 Blowhard 4 Job ad inits. 5 Broccoli bit 6 Like pain after treatment, often 7 Nails 8 Stop sign? 9 Unwanted attention 10 Checks out 11 Adds with a whisk 12 Makeshift coaster, maybe 13 Reason to hold your nose 14 Gen ___ (millennials) 21 Yellow-flowered plant producing a sticky resin 23 Chicago Fire’s sports org. 24 Noisy recreation vehicles 26 Blanket 27 “Uh-huh, I believe that” 29 “Hold your horses” 30 Forgo a night out 32 His wife and sons were Depressionera criminals 34 Couple taken out on a rainy day 36 2/2, to Toscanini 37 Key-ring ornament 39 Demolition cleanup machine 41 ___ Barber, fivetime Pro Bowler from the Tampa Bay Buccaneers 42 Like some legal decrees 43 Owl’s hoot, to some 44 Pomeranian, e.g. 45 Cross words 48 Trifle 49 Org. in the gulf war’s Operation Granby PUZZLE BY PAULA GAMACHE Online subscriptions: Today’s puzzle and more than 7,000 past puzzles, nytimes.com/crosswords ($39.95 a year). Read about and comment on each puzzle: nytimes.com/wordplay. Crosswords for young solvers: nytimes.com/studentcrosswords. ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 S T I F L E M R R O P E R P O G O E D W A Y A B O V E L O U N G E A U N T I E E M A M A Z O N V I N E E T N A Y E N I T A I S P Y A H O O P O L I T I C O S O P H N O B U T S V A Y A A I R S H E R O I N Z O O L V U L T U R E G A W K E R D O S T G I C H E I L K S C R A S H S I T E S S A I L B O A T E A S E U P C R E A M P I E E X A R M Y S E R B I A N D E N N Y S For Release Friday, April 1, 2016 Crossword Edited by Will Shortz No. 0226 ASTROLOGY E u g e n i a L a s t Level: 1 2 3 4 Complete the grid so each row, column and 3-by-3 box (in bold borders) contains every digit 1 to 9. For strategies on how to solve Sudoku, visit www.sudoku.org.uk. GOREN BRIDGE Friday, April 1, 2016 WITH BOB JONES ©2016 Tribune Content Agency, LLC THOUGHTFUL DEFENSE Neither vulnerable. North deals. NORTH ♠ K J 5 4 ♥ A K Q 7 6 2 ♦ 3 ♣ Q 2 WEST EAST ♠ A 10 7 3 ♠ Q 6 ♥ J 10 ♥ 9 5 4 ♦ 7 5 2 ♦ K Q J 10 6 4 ♣ K 10 7 4 ♣ J 3 SOUTH ♠ 9 8 2 ♥ 8 3 ♦ A 9 8 ♣ A 9 8 6 5 The bidding: NORTH EAST SOUTH WEST 1♥ 3♦ Pass Pass Dbl Pass 3NT All pass Opening lead: Two of ♦ South had a difficult bid over North’s re-opening double. Perfect defense would have made “pass” a winning decision, but that call was not seriously considered. South chose the aggressive three no trump over the timid alternative of three hearts. East’s 10 of diamonds was allowed to hold the first trick, and East wisely took a moment to plan the defense. South was sure to have the ace of diamonds, and if he also held the ace of spades, there was no hope for the defense. East could have continued with another diamond, forcing declarer to duck again, but with no side entry, East could not develop enough diamond tricks to defeat the contract. East shifted thoughtfully to the jack of clubs at trick two. Declarer ducked in hand, losing to the king from West. West reverted to diamonds, forcing South to duck, and East continued his good work by leading another club. South could have ducked this to dummy’s queen, of course, but that would have cut him off from both minor suit aces in his hand. In desperation, South rose with his ace of clubs, cashed the ace of diamonds, and led a spade toward dummy’s king-jack, intending to rise with the king if West played low. West stepped up smartly with his ace and cashed the 10 of clubs for the setting trick. This was a lovely defense, featuring nice cooperation between partners. Well done! (Bob Jones welcomes readers’ responses sent in care of this newspaper or to Tribune Content Agency, LLC., 16650 Westgrove Dr., Suite 175, Addison, TX 75001. E-mail responses may be sent to tcaeditors@tribune.com.) Sudoku By The Mepham Group Solution to Thursday’s puzzle © 2016 The Mepham Group. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency. All rights reserved. 4/1/16 ANNIE’S MAILBOX | ADVICE Woman going through dialysis consumed with depression FRIDAY, APRIL 1, 2016 CELEBRITIES BORN ON THIS DAY: Hillary Scott, 30; Taran Killam, 34; Susan Boyle, 55; Debbie Reynolds, 84. Happy Birthday: Keep an open mind, but don’t rely on others to tell you what’s going on. Uncertainty is the enemy, and fact-finding is in your best interest. Don’t leave anything to chance and you will stay ahead of anyone who is trying to outdo you. Be willing to accept the inevitable and make whatever you are faced with work in your favor. Your numbers are 9, 14, 23, 26, 30, 37, 41. ARIES (March 21-April 19): Don’t fight the inevitable. Allow others to do as they please and opt to take the same liberties yourself. Don’t waste energy on trivial matters when there is so much you can accomplish if you focus on your goals. 2 stars TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Welcome a challenge as if it is a testament to your abilities. You’ll shine brightly and impress everyone around you with your aptitude and finesse. What you offer will lead to an unexpected opportunity that allows you to use your skills. 5 stars GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Don’t be gullible when it comes to helping others. You can only do so much before you end up being taken for granted. Draw the line and don’t let yourself be used. Enlightenment will come from self-awareness and personal change. 3 stars CANCER (June 21-July 22): Listen to suggestions, but don’t feel obligated to follow a path that doesn’t suit you. Focus on improvements that will make you feel good about yourself and give you the confidence required to do as you please. 3 stars LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): You’ll be raring to go and eager to bring about change. Your quick wit and physical energy will come in handy when it comes to sizing up a situation and doing what needs to be done in order rise to the top. 3 stars VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Put your money into a safe investment or a reasonable home improvement, but don’t lend, borrow or jeopardize your financial security by taking risks. A steady gain should be your goal when it comes to health, wealth and happiness. 5 stars LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Make plans to get away. A day trip or making special plans to go somewhere with someone you love will give you a chance to relax and gain peace of mind. A decision you make will alter your living situation. 2 stars SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Use your imagination and you will come up with solutions that will help an organization or cause that concerns you. An opportunity to spend time with someone who brings out the best in you will lead to a romantic weekend. 4 stars SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You’ll get blamed for something you didn’t do if you hide evidence or aren’t honest about something that has happened. Stick close to home and put your time and effort into improving your relationships with the people who believe in you. 3 stars CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Expect to face a situation with a friend, relative or neighbor. Don’t jeopardize your reputation by agreeing to something you don’t want to do. Focus on your own plans and look for opportunities to maximize your chances of advancement. 3 stars AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Lay your cards on the table and discuss your moneymaking ideas with someone who can help you make your dreams come true. Listen attentively and you will be made aware of any pitfalls that could deter you from reaching your goal. 3 stars PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Look for alternative ways to expand your interests and drum up support. A learning curve is apparent and must be conquered before you will see any sort of returns for your effort. Romance will improve your personal life. 4 stars Birthday Baby: You are progressive, animated and diverse. You are goal-oriented and competitive. COPYRIGHT 2016 UNIVERSAL UCLICK 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106; 816-581-7500
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